Kristin Bair O'Keeffe: Writer. Mom. Teacher. Traveler.

Tulliver -- Cute and Silly

Tully Cute...

Tully silly...

The Tire Recycler

I know, I know. I'm obsessed with the recyclers in Shanghai right now. It's just one of the coolest systems here (though, I suppose the recyclers who work their arses off all day might not agree). The recyclers are the gatherers in this society, and I have questions for them all: How did you choose your product (Styrofoam, tires, cardboard, plastic, metal, etc.)? Did you choose it or was it chosen for you? Where do you take the stuff at the end of the day? How much do you make from one load?

Mr. C, Our Driver, Goes a Little Nuts and Organizes a Sit-In

Yesterday I got a phone call from the reception desk of our apartment building. "A messenger will come to your home," the young woman said.

Messenger? I thought. What messenger? Fedex had already delivered a package, and our organic veggies had arrived in the morning. I wasn't expecting anything else.

Then...knock, knock, knock.

It was our building manager...a kind young woman who had chosen "Rain" as her English name.

"Hello Rain," I said. It took a few minutes for her to respond as she focused on getting the blue surgery-type booties over her high heels.

"Hello," she finally said, and when she looked at me, I could see that she'd been crying. She was very upset, and this was unusual. "Your driver is very rude," she finally spit out. I could see that she was mortified that she had to come up to our apartment to tell me this. We have a good relationship and she's always been very helpful.

During the next few minutes, I discovered that our driver, Mr. C, had once again taken to sleeping on the big leather couches in our apartment lobby. With his shoes off! His stinky shoes! He's also been smoking in our locker room and having extremely loud phone conversations in public spaces. After a number of residents complained, Rain felt as if she needed to address the problem.

So yesterday, she approached Mr. C while he was sleeping in the lobby, woke him, and kindly asked him not to sleep there. And then our Mr. C flipped out. He yelled at Rain. (And Mr. C can yell; I've seen him do it in traffic.)

"Yelled at you?" I said to Rain, to make sure I understood.

She nodded and grimaced. Clearly the memory of the incident was upsetting.

Then, she told me, he called all the other drivers to gather on the couches in the lobby.

"A sit-in?" I asked.

Rain didn't understand the term, but she explained again. "Yes, they all sit."

And so, for the rest of the day, the drivers gave her a hard time. Led by the ringleader, our Mr. C.

Today in our mailbox, we found a notice issued to all residents. "Dear Valued Resident, We found some chauffeurs sitting in the lobby sofas and their behaviors indelicate...."

Now I'm mortified. And pissed off. Mr. C always pushes the boundaries, but this is over the top. To yell at Rain? One of the nicest people I know here...

Watch out, Mr. C...

Back to Bamboo Scaffolding

So how do you move the bamboo scaffolding from one street to another? (see post from May 8, 2009)

On a cart, of course...

A Tully Tale -- Gadget Love Spurs Creativity

Tulliver loves the CD/DVD player. Both because it plays music (which facilitates  dancing and twirling...always a good thing in our house) AND because it has buttons. Silver, shiny buttons.

Of course, Tully is not allowed to touch the CD/DVD player. Each time she presses one of the dozen or so buttons, either I or Andrew walks to her, picks her up, says "no," and moves her to another part of the room where there are things that are supposed to distract her (you know, toys, like balls, dolls, puzzles, oatmeal cans, etc.). But nooooo, nothing distracts our single-minded daughter.

For a while, before she started walking, Tully would backwards crawl to the CD/DVD player after being told (for the gazillionth time) that she wasn't allowed to touch it. Backwards crawl, with her eyes on us, as if we couldn't see her at all. Very clever.

But now her cleverness has reached new heights. Knowing full well at this point that she is not supposed to touch the CD/DVD player, she has begun turning on and off buttons WITH HER FEET!

HER FEET!

What a creative solution to an ongoing problem. "Mom and Dad say I can't touch this thing," I imagine her thinking as her sweet little toes reach and point until the big one hits its target. (She grins the whole time.), "but surely they mean with my hands."

Love it, love it, love it.

The French Concession Fishbox Recycler

Recycling in Shanghai is a grassroots operation made up of men and women who cycle through the neighborhoods on bicycle carts, ringing bells to signal their approach. It is also a specialized operation. There are guys who collect only paper; women who collect only wood; plastic collectors and metal collectors. The guy in the pictures below collects Styrofoam fish boxes from all of the wet markets (fresh markets) in our neighborhood (the French Concession). By the end of the day, his cart is a work of architectural, engineering genius. He's my favorite recycler.

Meet Wendy Burt: Author of "The Writer's Digest Guide to Query Letters"

Today we have a Q & A with Wendy Burt-Thomas. She is a full-time freelance writer, editor and copywriter with more than 1,000 published pieces. Her third book, "The Writer's Digest Guide to Query Letters" hit stores in January 2009. To learn more about Wendy or her three books, visit www.GuideToQueryLetters.com. If you have a writing-related question, you can also post it on http://AskWendy.wordpress.com.

1. Can you tell us about your book?
The book was a great fit for me because I'd been teaching "Breaking Into Freelance Writing" for about eight years. In the workshop, I covered a lot of what is in this book: writing query letters to get articles in magazines, to land an agent, or to get a book deal with a publisher. Since I'm a full-time freelance magazine writer and editor with two previous books, this was incredibly fun to write because it didn't require tons of research. I was lucky enough to receive lots of great sample query letters from writers and authors that I use as "good" examples in the book. I wrote all the "bad" examples myself because I didn't dare ask for contributions that I knew I'd be ripping apart!
In addition to the ins and outs of what makes a good query, the book covers things like why (or why not) to get an agent, where to find one and how to choose one; writing a synopsis or proposal; selling different rights to your work; other forms of correspondence; and what editors and agents look for in new writers.

It was really important to me that the book not be a dry, boring reference book, but rather an entertaining read (while still being chock full of information). I was thrilled that Writer's Digest let me keep all the humor.

2. Why are query letters so important?
Breaking into the publishing world is hard enough right now. Unless you have a serious "in" of some kind, you really need a great query letter to impress an agent or acquisitions editor. Essentially, your query letter is your first impression. If they like your idea (and voice and writing style and background), they'll either request a proposal, sample chapters, or the entire manuscript. If they don't like your query letter, you've got to pitch it to another agency/publisher. Unlike a manuscript, which can be edited or reworked if an editor thinks it has promise, you only get one shot with your query. Make it count!
I see a lot of authors who spend months (or years) finishing their book, only to rush through the process of crafting a good, solid query letter. What a waste! If agents/editors turn you down based on a bad query letter, you've blown your chance of getting them to read your manuscript. It could be the next bestseller, but they'll never see it. My advice is to put as much effort into your query as you did your book. If it's not fabulous, don't send it until it is.

3. You're also a magazine editor. What is your biggest gripe regarding queries?
Queries that show that the writer obviously hasn't read our publication. I'll admit that I did this when I was a new writer too – submitted blindly to any publication whose name sounded even remotely related to my topic. One of the examples I use was when I submitted a parenting article to a magazine for senior citizens. Oops! A well-written query pitching an article that's not a match for the magazine isn't going to get you any further than a poorly written query.

4. There's an entire chapter in the book about agents. Do you think all new writers should get agents?
Probably 99% of new writers should get an agent. There are lots of reasons, but my top three are: 1) Many of the larger publishing houses won't even look at unagented submissions now; 2) Agents can negotiate better rights and more money on your behalf; 3) Agents know the industry trends, changes and staff better than you ever could. 

5. You've been a mentor, coach or editor for many writers. What do you think is the most common reason that good writers don't get published?
Poor marketing skills. I see so many writers that are either too afraid, too uniformed, or frankly, too lazy, to market their work. They think their job is done when the write "the end" but writing is only half of the process. I've always told people who took my class that there are tons of great writers in the world who will never get published. I'd rather be a good writer who eats lobster than a great writer who eats hot dogs. I make a living as a writer because I spend as much time marketing as I do writing.

6. What are some of the biggest misconceptions that writers have about getting a book deal?
That they'll be rich overnight, that they don't need to promote their book once it's published, that publishing houses will send them on world book tours, that people will recognize them at the airport. Still, you can make great money as an author if you're prepared to put in the effort. If it wasn't possible, there wouldn't be so many full-time writers.

7. What must-read books do you recommend to new writers?
Christina Katz (author of "Writer Mama") has a new book out called "Get Known Before the Book Deal" - which is fabulous. Also, Stephen King's "On Writing" and David Morrell's "Lessons from a Lifetime of Writing." Anything by Anne Lamott or my Dad, Steve Burt.

8. What's the biggest lesson you've learned as a full-time writer?
Seize every opportunity - especially when you first start writing. I remember telling someone about a really high-paying writing gig I got and he said, "Wow. You have the best luck!" I thought, "Luck has nothing to do with it! I've worked hard to get where I am." Later that week I read this great quote: "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity." It's absolutely true. And writing queries is only about luck in this sense. If you're prepared with a good query and/or manuscript, when the opportunity comes along you'll be successful.

9. What did you enjoy most about writing this book?
Writing the "bad" query letters. I've read – and written! – so many horrible ones over the years that it was a little too easy to craft them. But misery loves company and we ALL love to read really bad query letters, right?

10. What do you want readers to learn from your book?
I want them to understand that while writing a good query letter is important, it doesn't have to be overwhelming. You can break it down into parts, learn from any first-round rejections, and read other good queries to help understand what works. I also want them to remember that writing is fun. Sometimes new writers get so caught up in the procedures that they lose their original voice in a query. Don't bury your style under formalities and to-the-letter formatting.

Video Upload Challenges

I've got this great video footage I took on Saturday at Fuxing Park in Shanghai. Glorious morning. But am trying to figure out how to load it. It's a'coming.

Happy Mama's Day

Today is my first mother's day. Last year on this day I was struggling through the wait for Tulliver to come home. Uggh. Gggrrr. Zowie. (Translation: It was excruciating and frustrating and lonely.)

But this morning, I woke up to my amazing 15-month-old daughter talking to herself about this and that. "Ug bu ta ja," she said, "ko to bee ga." Then, "mama mama dada dada mama dada." I love the monitor that allows me to listen in on Tully's private conversations as she quietly tries out new sounds and rhythms. In the dim morning light (such as it is at 5:00 a.m., the ungodly hour at which Tully now likes to wake!), she lies in her crib and practices the words she already can say (cracker, apple, eye, doggie, mama, dada) and tells stories to herself in a dreamy, baby language that makes my heart melt.

Then today during lunch, she said her own name: Tully. (It's a little more like Tuzhee when she says it, but it's Tully. No mistaking it.)

Of course, in addition to my overwhelming joy at being Tulliver's mom, I am also thinking about her birth mom today. I have so many unanswered questions about her...and I know that one day, Tully will, too.

Hats off all to moms today.

Now for my Mother's Day nap.

More Kids Books by Amy Krouse Rosenthal

If you don't know AKR, you should. Her adult memoir called The Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life is one of my all-time favorite reads (it's hilarious, especially if you grew up in the late 60s and 70s)...and her children's books are wise, funny, quirky, and creative. She's got four more kids' books out...or coming out soon.

Amy Krouse Rosenthal blog