Boys Against the Girls: Toy Store Triumphs in Gender Petrification

As a mom to an almost 2-year-old daughter, I think a lot about how to raise a strong, independent, adventurous, curious, self-assured, creative, loving, smart girl who will eventually become a woman. I think about my choices, my actions, my words...because I know from experience that that is how I learned the most from my mom...by watching, absorbing, listening, feeling.

Even though Tully is just 22.5 months old, I know already that raising a strong, independent, adventurous, curious, self-assured, creative, loving, smart daughter is not going to be easy. I watch my sister and friends and strangers doing their best with it...sometimes succeeding beautifully and other times falling flat on their faces.

I'm sure I will do the same.

But last weekend, I witnessed something that reminded me that the world isn't always supportive of my goal to raise a strong, independent, adventurous, curious, self-assured, creative, loving, smart daughter. In fact, in some ways, it may even be fighting me on this goal.

What prompted all this?

I went Christmas shopping at Toys R Us in Shanghai.

In the "Girls" area of the store, this is what I saw:

In the "Boys" area of the store, this is what I saw:

Um, HELLO?????? How am I supposed to raise a strong, independent, adventurous, curious, self-assured, creative, loving, smart daughter when the entire "Girls" area of the store is hot pink and filled with ironing boards, washing machines, dolls, and cooking sets? While the "Boys" area of the store (aka "Action and Adventure") is filled with action- and adventure-related toys? Cool stuff.

Why is this wrong?

Because pigeon-holing girls into this "pink, house-wifey" role shapes their self-images, their imaginations, and their ability to consider all the crazy, wonderful, innovative possibilities for their lives. While many toys encourage boys to imagine themselves as swashbuckling explorers or inventors, many toys encourage girls to imagine themselves as...as...house tenders. How is that fair? (And no, readers, I don't think that tending a house is a bad thing. It's an important part of how we manage our lives...and anyone who can run a household deserves respect...male or female. But come on...girls need as much of a chance to dream about their lives as boys.)

And to turn the situation on its head, what about little boys who want a washing machine from Santa? Boys who think it's fun to wash clothes? How will they feel when they open a pink washing machine in a box marked "Girls Only" (see top left corner of box in photo above)? I mean, if a toy store MUST sell a washing machine for kids, why not sell a cool, silvery blue one in a gender-neutral part of the store set up to make both boys and girls feel comfortable?

Boys or girls...this kind of stereotypical gender marketing doesn't work for anyone.

I shouldn't be shocked at this, right? I've been in Toys R Us before; I've seen the differences between the "Girls" section and the "Boys" section. I'm not clueless to the fact that this kind of gender petrification goes on. But this is the first year that I've really shop-shopped for Christmas presents for Tully. Last year she was a baby; Santa brought rubber-bottomed socks, books, and stuffed animals.

But I am shocked. And irked. How long are we going to nurture girls in this traditional housecleaning, button-sewing, soup-stirring role? (Don't even get me started on the princess myth...)

Gggggrrrrrr...

Of course, I had to laugh because at first my husband thought this was a "China" thing. That only toy stores in China were marketing toys this way.

He couldn't believe (and still isn't quite convinced, I suspect) that this kind of "pink, housewifey marketing" goes on in toy stores in the U.S. as well. (After all, many of the toys in Shanghai's Toys R Us are intended for the U.S. market...there's not even any Chinese writing on much of the packaging. All English.)

The thing that irks me even further is that we (the West) are teaching the Chinese about gender petrification and "pink, housewifey marketing." Although China has a long tradition of assigning value to boys and girls in significant ways, it is still in its infancy stage of consumerism and is not yet a "stuff" culture. The segment of the population with extra cash for toys from fancy stores like Toys R Us is small but growing rapidly. These folks are hungry for the "stuff" we "rich" folks from the West have...like pink washing machines marked "Girls Only" for our daughters. (Ironically, the majority of people in China don't even have a washing machine in their home.) And we, being the great leaders of consumption that we are, are showing them how it's done.

What I want to know is, when the heck will it be done differently? In China or the U.S.? Anywhere?

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Related Article in The Guardian: The Power of Pink

Comments

[Amy U]

I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter. I had received a gift certificate for JCPenney to buy her something. I went into the baby girl dept and literally left in tears.....EVERYTHING was PINK! No exaggeration. Pink, frilly, lacy. I bought nothing but it was a depressing eye opener.
At the age of 4 1/2, she truly enjoys wearing dresses, tights, etc. She comes home talking about what others are wearing, both the boys and the girls. I am not so feminine. More of a tomboy. But, I like that she's made these choices for herself.

[Greg L.]

My good friend from undergrad at Vassar, Dr. Annie, aggressively kept her two daughters from all the pink girl-marketed toys until the oldest was about 6, when Grandaunt gave them barbie dolls. And zoinks! did they love them.
I remember her ranting about how they were now picking out barbies at the thrift stores.
Since they also did not have television, it was an interesting Skinner-ian experiment. (Although, to be fair, she wasn't trying for the Skinner box thing. She was just outraged.)
I'm not sure our mini-strides here in educated land are going to change this phenomenon any time soon. It's easy to market to gender roles, and not so easy to market to grey areas. It makes packaging tough. And when was the last time a Vassar grad became a toy developer for Mattel? Actually, I think I'll go research that.

[Greg L.]

Tell that he's smoking crack and needs to travel to Akron. Or Worcester. or anywhere in New Hampshire. The fact that all the packaging is in American English is all you need to know for evidence of it's NOT a china thing.

And the "Girls Only" label is insane! I had missed that first time through. Who's doing this design? Glenn Beck? A cranky 90 year old who misses pre-WWII life? wtf?

Seriously, this is a huge silent American cultural divide, that can be tied to the insane hatred of Hilary Clinton and the prosecution of Martha Stewart. It's like the effect of the pervasive warrior dreams of the 80s Rambo culture on the election of GW Bush and the 2nd invasion of Iraq.

[Melissa]

I felt compelled to respond to this because I work in the toy industry and I worry all the time that we are perpetuating gender stereostypes with the toys that we make. If it makes you feel any better we make many toys, like kitchens and vacuums, gender neutral because we know that it's not a 'girls only' activity. Most preschool toys are also gender neutral. It's really when they get older that you see such an incredible difference. The truth is, a store is not going to take a chance at selling a fashion doll for boys. (that's an extreme example, but you catch my drift). I think it's more a chicken and the egg thang. The stores sell what they think girls and boys want, but do boys and girls only want what the stores are telling them they should want? So hard to say. I think if we instill the values we want to instill in our children, they'll turn out all right no matter what they play with :-) I hope!