Kristin Bair O'Keeffe: Writer. Mom. Teacher. Traveler.

On Writing: A Balancing Act

In a tres cool project called Living Architecture: Holidays in Modern Architecture, philosopher/writer/all-around-interesting-idea-guy Alain de Botton* is renting out five mega-modern houses to Regular Joes and Josephines (RJJs) for really, really cheaps.

Why?

So the RJJs can get over their fear of modern architecture in a pleasurable, experiential way.

Like I said, tres cool.

Me...I'm not afraid of modern architecture; in fact, I'd give anything to live in a modern house made of funky materials with an unusual shape and lots of surprises.

But as a writer, there's something else in this Living Architecture thing for me. Ever since I discovered the project earlier this week (via a link on Twitter by @MustardPepper), I've been obsessing about it. Within minutes of reading the Tweet, I'd clicked through all five houses: three that are already built and booking renters and two that will be completed soon. I'd even discovered my favorite..."The Balancing Barn"...a house that immediately resonated with my head, soul, and writing process.

(Before reading further, please click through to a picture of "The Balancing Barn." Otherwise you're going to be lost and confused for the remainder of this post. Let's avoid this potentially hazardous situation.)

Now...those of you who read this blog regularly know that for the past few years I've been working on my second novel and am (knock on wood) almost finished. I'm in what I call the "final, final rewriting" stage and I've been searching for a way to describe to you (and to myself) how I'm working on the manuscript now.

"The Balancing Barn" gave me the answer.

I'm balancing the story.

Take another look at "The Balancing Barn." See how it is perfectly weighted so that one half sits firmly planted on the ground and the other half reaches out-out-out over the meadow?

Gorgeous, isn't it?

The risk? The equilibrium? The humor? The mystery?

It is this kind of balance that I'm working to create in my novel. (It is also these elements: risk, equilibrium, humor, mystery.) And it's not easy. Although there is only one main character in the story, there are three equally important story lines; two very present, very important secondary characters; a cast of lively supporting characters; and a setting that also plays an active role (just as setting did in my first novel Thirsty).

How am I going about balancing it?

There are two parts to the process:

First, the concrete. From Staples in Shanghai, I ordered a load of Post-It Tabs (you know, the skinny, narrow, bookmarky Post-Its) in all kinds of colors. Next I assigned a color to each important character and to each of the three story lines. Then on a printed copy of the manuscript, I tagged every scene with the appropriate character and/or story line Post-It. Once all tags were in place, I could see when one character hadn't made an appearance in a while or when one of the three story lines got dropped for too long.

Obviously this is a complicated, time-consuming process, but it works for me. Once I knew where the gaps were, I was able to dive back into the manuscript. For the past few weeks, I've been writing new chapters and moving others around.

Second, the abstract. Here's how it happens: Before bed, read a few chapters. Ponder them. Play with them. Then sleep, wake up, lie in bed for a few minutes "seeing" the story in my head. Then walk my daughter to school, work out, do the grocery shopping, take a shower. Later, have a margarita with my husband. Read. Eat dumplings. Dream. And at every moment "see" the story in my head...solving problems that seemed unsolvable while sitting at my desk...and allowing the story to grow beyond what is already on the page (which can be wildly difficult once you actually have a story on the page).

Finally, when it feels right, I return to my computer and dive in.

This stage of the rewriting process requires two things: imagination and precision. I think about how the architects who designed and built "The Balancing Barn" went about their work and like to think it was in much the same way.

Now...time for a margarita.

The Far-Flung Writer: A Lesson in Submitting Your Work from Abroad

REALIZATION #1: A few days ago, I realized that I've got 5 or 6 (amazing, kick-ass, life-changing) unpublished essays/short stories just lying around my office that I've intended to submit to literary magazines, but haven't.

WHY HAVEN'T I SUBMITTED THESE ASS-KICKING ESSAYS & SHORT STORIES THAT ARE JUST LYING AROUND MY OFFICE?

• Like a lot of writing women, I'm a working mom with too many things to do and not enough hours in the day. Sitting at my computer, writing cover letters, reading the often super-detailed submission guidelines of dozens of lit magazines, printing copies of my work along with labels, and stuffing envelopes often falls right off my arm-length to-do list. Go figure.
  

• I'm trying like crazy to keep my first novel Thirsty moving. Marketing, connecting, sharing with readers, potential readers, book bloggers, etc. (Hey, that reminds me, have you read Thirsty yet?)

• I'm trying like crazy to finish writing novel #2.

• Submitting your work is an oh-my-god time-consuming activity no matter where you live, but it's even more time-consuming when you live overseas. (Mostly I submit to lit mags in the U.S.)

REALIZATION #2: It's time to get off my arse. These pieces aren't going to submit themselves. The editors of literary magazines aren't going to bang on my door begging for the essay I wrote about that god-awful smell in Shanghai that nearly sent me soaring out an open window. It's up to me. Me! "Kristin, get off your arse," I told myself this week. (And I did.)

EXTRA-SPECIAL SUBMISSION CHALLENGES FOR WRITERS LIVING OVERSEAS?

• Slower Internet connections make it more time-consuming (notice a trend here?) to look up the submission guidelines of literary magazines. I'm talking hours and hours to find out the reading period of Magazine A (Sept 15 - April 15...missed it!) and the submission address for Magazine B.

• In order to include an SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope) with our work, we far-flung writers need to make sure we have U.S. stamps in our possession. After all, it is a self-addressed STAMPED envelope we have to include with our submission. (And by the way, what is the cost of sending a letter internationally from the U.S. these days? Still 90 cents?)

• I know each country is different, but dealing with a post office in China can be either weirdly quick and painless OR so frustrating you want to jab chopsticks into your own eyeballs.

• Mailing submissions from China via regular mail is fairly cheap, but awfully slow...and somewhat unreliable. Using a quicker shipping service is expensive. Kind of a lose-lose situation.

cheap & slow & somewhat unreliable VS expensive & quick & much more reliable

BRIEF PAUSE FOR RANT AGAINST BIGGEST PET PEEVE

I cannot believe that there are still literary magazines out there that state "No Simultaneous Submissions" in their guidelines. (All you non-writers out there, see below for definition of "Simultaneous Submission.")

Hello? Hello?

We writers often wait six months and longer to get a yea or nay from a literary magazine to which we've submitted a single essay or story. Six months or longer! (In fact, last year I received a rejection for a piece I'd submitted an entire year before.)

And there are still literary magazines out there that want us to submit our work one piece to one lit mag at a time? And wait for a response before submitting to another lit mag?

My god, we'd all be dead before we were published.

 
HAPPY DISCOVERY FOR WRITERS ABROAD!!!

As a far-flung writer abroad, I look for literary magazines that either allow email submissions OR use an online submission manager. Two years ago (before I became a mom and I did a lot more submitting of my work), there weren't all that many lit mags that offered this option. Most accepted submissions via snail mail only. Today (pause for happy dance) there are many more. And it seems the list is growing.

Here's a quick list of lit mags that now allow email submissions OR use an online submission manager. (There are more, I'm sure. I just haven't discovered them yet.)

• Keyhole Magazine
• Mid-American Review
• Ascent
• Black Warrior Review
• Agni
• Southeast Review
• The MacGuffin
• Redivider
• The Indiana Review
• River Teeth
• Silk Road
• The Louisville Review

THE OUTCOME?

I've spent oodles of hours over the past five days submitting work. So far, I've submitted one short story and two essays to handfuls of lit magazines. Yep, I sent some via snail mail and some via online submission. And oh yeah, I've made a number of simultaneous submissions.

Hopefully I'll soon be letting you know that I've got a new essay or short story coming out. Fingers crossed.

AND FINALLY, A BIG THANKS!

To all the lit mags that allow simultaneous submissions AND take online submissions. You rock! Writers all over the world thank you.

___

Thanks to Simon Howden for the use of his photos.

*What's a simultaneous submission? It's when a writer sends a piece to more than one literary magazine at the same time.

Writing The Far-Flung Life: The Life and Times of Expat Writers

Here's the truth. We expat writers have some pretty hilarious, tres bizarro, mega-heart-breaking, uber-adventurous, heads-bowed enlightening, truth-revealing, "no effing way" stories to tell.

We could begin right at this exact moment telling those stories and not be finished until...well, until never. And the entire time we were telling them, you (our audience) would be bent over double with laughter, sobbing like babies, or saying "No effing way" over and over again.

After all, we brave, crazy, passionate expat writers not only travel to exotic locales for spits-and-spots of experience. We actually pack up our homes, our families, our hearts, our underwear, and our bottles of Imodium and MOVE to these exotic locales. We say, "Yeah, bring it on! I want to live in this place...as uncomfortable and confused as I am right now...and I want to...I want to..."

"You want to what?" you ask.

"I want to figure out who I am in relation to this new place. Because I was pretty damn clear about who I was in my home country, but here? Here? This place where I stand out like a sore thumb? I don't have a clue who I am or how I fit in."

"Anything else?" you ask.

"Yeah, I want to KNOW this place. Not just a little, but a lot. As much as an outsider can, I guess."

"That's a mighty tall order," you say in a John Wayne drawl because maybe you are an American.

"Yeah, but I've got a while."

Then we expat writers live in these locales for...one, two, three, four, even ten years...witnessing cultural clashes, cultural enlightenments, medicine-resistant illnesses, language conundrums, awe-inspiring kindnesses, life-changing revelations, strange fish-stomping deaths, unfamiliar burial rites, and perhaps most importantly, everyday life. We eat funky foods and compare this to that. We stare, get stared at, drop chopsticks, make friends, make mistakes, and finally, let the old shift as the new seeps in.

And of course we write about it. Because that's what we do. Because like all writers, we are obsessed with getting our stories onto the page...with working life out in pen and ink (or via the clickety-click).

But something else happens as well.

We start to change. We look in the mirror and say, "Who the hell are you?" We thumb through the myriad of stamps in our passports and say, "Who the hell am I?" We study the addresses on our mail and say, "Home?"

Because at some point...some critical point...we stop feeling like citizens of a single country...and instead feel like citizens of...well...the world.

How effing corny and wonderful and confusing and unlikely is that? There's no precedent for being a "citizen of the world." As far as I know, there's no "citizen of the world" anthem. No "citizen of the world" constitution. No "citizen of the world" rule book. No "citizen of the world" flag. There aren't any traditional "citizen of the world" costumes or sports clubs to cheer for.

Just what holidays does a citizen of the world celebrate? Tet? Chinese New Year? Passover? Christmas? And if Christmas, Santa Claus or Sinterklaas?

So once we feel this way, what do we do?

Well, you know, we're writers--expat writers-- so we do what we always do. We keep telling stories. And we find ways of sharing those stories with you (our audience)...wherever you are...back in our "home" countries...here in our adopted countries...or in the countries we touch down in along the way.

And hopefully, you (our beloved audience) read them.

_______

Thanks to Francesco Marino and djcodrin for the digital artwork.

Me & David Foster Wallace: Common Ground

You know, I've never read David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest. I've also never read Brief Interviews with Hideous Men or A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again.

The one DFW book that I bought with every intention of reading was Consider the Lobster and Other Essays. But no, even when I got that one home, I didn't read it.

To be perfectly honest, I've never read anything that DFW wrote. He's one of those super-intense writers that I have to be emotionally, psychologically, and soulfully ready for...so far, that time hasn't come.

Despite that, I've always known who DFW was. (Sadly, he committed suicide in 2008.) I knew the world considered him to be a brilliant writer. I knew he took chances in his work. I knew he was edgy and passionate about words, had a cult following, usually had long(ish) hair, and took good photos.

What I didn't know was that, like me, DFW wrote in his books. I don't mean he wrote in the books that HE wrote. I mean he wrote in the books he bought and read. You know, the books that he put on his desk, bedside table, and in his bag. He scribbled, made notes, and circled words he either didn't know the meaning of or wanted to know more about. And the cool thing? His books (along with his manuscripts, etc.) are now in a collection at the Harry Ransom Center at the University of Texas at Austin. So you can actually see them both online and if you happen to be in Austin, in person.

Some cool words DFW circled in his books?

ort

suint

valgus

More? Absolutely. See them here.

While you're bopping about the DFW collection, check out his notes on Christina Stead's The Man Who Loved Children and Cormac McCarthy's Suttree. (DFW even doodled glasses and a mustache on McCarthy's bio photo. Hee hee.)

Since I get a lot of grief from folks for writing in my books (one reader recently sent me a note that said I treat books like a whore in a naval yard...yikes), I'm loving the fact that DFW did it, too. It's a vital part of my writing process...and I don't believe books are this THING, this OBJECT, to be revered and honored...set on a shelf to be eyed from afar. I believe books are supposed to be read, used, reused...however that works for you.

Remember, it's the story housed in the physical book that is important...not the actual pages or the covers. It's okay to make the pages part of your writing/artistic/life process.

I repeat, it's okay to make the pages part of your writing/artistic/life process.

My message?

Break spines.

Doodle in your books.

Daydream while you doodle.

And yep, go on...write in your books.

8 Things I'm Thinking About Right This Very Second

A little something for everyone:

• If Vice President Joe Biden didn't say "this is a f'ing big deal" to President Obama, I'll say it for him. This healthcare thing is a f'ing big deal. Bravo! Standing ovation! Kudos! Cheers! It's about time.

•  Beyond The Margins -- This is my new favorite go-to online pub about writing. The writers are funny, passionate, experienced, and diverse. Check it out. (Lots of them are on Twitter!)

• Steve Almond's new book ROCK AND ROLL WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE (Random House, available April 13, 2010). Almond makes me laugh no matter what work of his I'm reading, so I'm looking forward to this one. (Great for all you music fanatics out there.)

• My hometown of Pittsburgh as a new literary Mecca. The New Yorker says so in "The Hills Are Alive."

• THIRSTY is featured on fREADO right now. See "The Story Behind the Book" on the fREADO home page. (This is a cool way to check out a new book.)

• Cool new ways publishers are marketing books: The Algonquin (hotel) in New York City is not only offering Kindles and Nooks to their guests (free of charge), but it has also formed a partnership with Harper Perennial. HP will provide new titles and classics to the hotel every month and will be hosting author signings & book events at the hotel. (I want to stay there!)

• David Foster Wallace's books (WRITTEN IN!) -- I am not alone. DFW used to write in his books...just like me. Love it.

• Christina Katz--a good friend, a spectacular writing colleague, and an amazing author/teacher/mom/person. Check out her current project, The Prosperous Writer. Sign up for her motivating, informative weekly newsletter.

What are you thinking about right now?

THIRSTY & Self-Promotion at the Shanghai International Literary Festival (ssshhh, secret revealed)

Last Saturday, March 7, I did a session at the Shanghai International Literary Festival about self-promotion and social networking for authors. It was a full house; I had a blast yakking about all the ways there are for writers to connect, share their work, learn about others' work, and open their writing worlds; and since the 7th, two audience members have friended me on Facebook and two others have made their maiden voyages on Twitter.

Success. People got it. Took my words to heart and reached out.

Now for the secret...one of the things I admitted during my session is that I've got a love/hate relationship with all this social networking and self-promotion stuff. 75% of the time, I love reaching out...chatting with readers and writers all over the world...sharing links to pertinent info (and links to irrelevant but fun info as well), and talking books. 25% of the time, I just want to be left alone in my 23rd floor apartment in Shanghai to write. I want to say, "Sssssshhhhh, I'm in writerhead" (or when I feel REALLY sick of it all, "PISS OFF!")...and then, yep, quietly face the page...alone.

Of course, I'm hesitant to admit this love/hate relationship out loud. We're really not supposed to. I'm pretty sure that's in a rule book somewhere.

But I've always hated rule books. And other people's rules. So there, I've said it. Out loud. Most of the time I love reaching out, but sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I feel completely smothered by all the contact.

What's the answer?

A small hut in Borneo? With no electricity and no Internet? 

Mmmmm, a lovely idea, but a tad unrealistic. (Besides...I know me. I'd get lonely and start saying things like, "Wow, I wish I could Twitter.")

So I've decided that balance is a more viable answer. I'm learning (slowly) how to manage my time on Twitter, Facebook, my blog, and the blogs of others. And I'm writing my own rulebook. Here's what I've got so far:

Rule #1: Admit when I'm burnt out & in need of a break.

Rule #2: When Rule #1 moves into play, take needed break (preferably before breakdown...break should not be ).

Rule #3: Do not turn on Internet when writing creative stuff--novel, memoir, etc.

Rule #4: Do not turn on Internet when writing creative stuff--novel, memoir, etc. (Some rules are worth repeating.)

Rule #5: Before shutting down at night, I must close all but seven tabs on Firefox (my blog, the THIRSTY website, Facebook, Twitter, Typepad, Constant Contact, and Google Reader). No more of this keeping 30 tabs open. Too much browsing. Too much reading. Too much, too much, too much.

Rule #6: Take 1 weekend day off every week. Completely. No work. No writing. No Tweeting. No Facebooking. In fact, except on special occasions, don't even turn on the computer. (This will be hard for me.)

So that's where I am. How about you and your relationship with all this stuff? Love? Hate? Some combo? And how do you manage it all? (suggestions welcome)

Shanghai International Literary Festival: Shameless Self-Promotion

Tomorrow (Sunday, March 7, 12:00) I'm giving a talk at the Shanghai International Literary Festival. If you're in Shanghai, come on down to M on the Bund...where all the cool, hip, smart, in-the-know readers/writers are hanging out.

Details?

Here ya go:

“Hi, My Name Is___”: Shameless Self-Promotion & The Art of Social Networking for Authors

Sunday, March 7 (12:00 - 1:00)

It used to be that an author could write a book, publish it, and then draw her curtains while a publicist promoted it to the reading world. Not so anymore. Today when an author gets a book contract, a publisher asks: Do you Twitter? Are you on Facebook? Do you have a newsletter? A website? A blog? How many hits do you get a month? And more. (Translation: How are you going to promote your book?) Come along for the ride as debut novelist & seasoned social media dame Kristin Bair O’Keeffe (Thirsty, Swallow Press, 2009) explores the art of shameless self-promotion and social networking…and shows you just how much fun it can be.

A Writer's Vacation: Can You Disconnect?

For the last eight days, I was in Borneo...breathing in this:

And sinking into that:

And taking in lots of this, too:

Now keep in mind that for weeks before we left Shanghai, I'd planned to work during our vacation. I'd planned to Tweet, Facebook, blog, continue to connect, and yep, even get some work done on the session I'm doing at the Shanghai Literary Festival this weekend.

But, alas, I forgot to take my travel adapter along, and believe it or not, the resort did not have an adapter that fit the three-pronged plug of my computer cord.

The result? I couldn't work.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????

Nope, I couldn't work.

This was, at first, panic-inducing. "What do you mean I can't work? I have to work." My stomach coiled up in knots.

But after a few days of this:

 

And that:

I realized how much I needed NOT to work. Since the launch of THIRSTY back in October, I've been moving at lightning speed. Brain in overdrive. Body in overdrive. Soul in overdrive.

I needed to disconnect, and I'm pretty sure the great gods of travel adapters knew this and conspired to leave me, truly, wireless.

What happened?

I quieted down inside. That idgy feeling in my belly of "I'm not doing enough to get the word out about THIRSTY" and "How do I get THIRSTY to more readers?" went away. I relaxed. I chilled out. I played. I got centered.

And then?

The same thing that always happens when I allow myself some breathing room happened: I started to write in my head.

Tra-la-la. I was writing in my head. Waking from gorgeous, wacky, wonderful dreams with full sentences and scenes. Staring at the ocean and learning something new about the characters in my second novel.

It was glorious.

Now that I'm back in Shanghai, I'm trying to hold onto that feeling. That tra-la-la-ing. And the wisdom of knowing that I when I push a little less, more happens.

Flow.

Project Kindle, Post #6 (The FINAL Episode)

This...is...it. 

Do I love my Kindle? Can I read books on my Kindle?

Watch and see.

Travel Tuesday: Writing the Far-Flung Life (Me + New Place = ?)

Okay, all you far-flung writers, need a jumping off point for a new essay? Here goes:

When you:

• are transplanted in a new country
• are launched out of your comfort zone
• are separated from those you love by expansive oceans and thousands of miles
• are incapable of communicating with those around you because you don't speak the language
• spend minutes/hours/days pantomiming even the simplest nouns (and feel like a cross between an intrepid explorer and a complete ass every time you do it)
• struggle to interpret new cultural cues

you inevitably ask the question...

Me + (New Place) = ?

You can't help it. It's human nature. We're driven to define ourselves in relation to our surroundings. Especially those of us who are writers.

The first time I asked myself this question was back in October 2006, about six months after I'd moved from the United States to Shanghai, China. I was back in the U.S. on my first trip home and was feeling completely overwhelmed by the number of choices I faced in the cereal aisle at the grocery store and a number of other things. I wrote about it here (at my old blog).

Since then, I've mulled over this very question again and again...verbally and in my head...but I haven't yet (re-)tackled it on the page. It's time...I feel it coming. The distillation of who I am in China.

And you? Have you tackled this question in your writing?

Me + (New Place) = ?

If not, give it a shot. It has all the makings of a great essay.

If so, what was your answer?